Melissa at Such Simple Pleasures had an idea for a new meme for Saturday. The idea with the meme is to re-post an old post from the archives, and since I’m still busy spoiling my grandson, I’m happy to jump right in.
The post I’m re-posting is from January 2005, when I tried a lot of dating sites on the Internet. The post is called What does it mean to be kind or intelligent? Should I keep a list? Or not!
When someone asks me what kind of man I want I have big trouble answering. Of course, I could make a list of traits and go with that, but what does those traits really mean? What does it mean to be kind? Taking out the garbage? Fixing my car? My kids take out the garbage and I don’t have a car for the moment… I want a man in my life, not a janitor. Does kind mean that he won’t hit or verbally abuse me? I assume that the norm is we don’t hit others, so I don’t consider people who doesn’t hit or say mean things to others as exceptionally kind, they are just normal.
Intelligent? I guess that is something I could put on my list; I want the guy to understand what I’m talking about… but, on the other hand… I don’t want a guy who is so intelligent that I don’t know what HE is talking about. I have never been able to be that cute little girl gazing at a man with big, soulful eyes, admiring every word he says. Even though I’m quite short I have had some trouble being a cute, little girl in the presence of a man. It’s easier for me to be either a bad girl or one of the guys, than a girly and cute girl.
Powerful? Rich? I do believe that both too much power and too much money corrupts. I want the guy to be able to pay for the food he eats and buy the stuff he thinks he need, but too much is always too much. Even if I haven’t had much money, I have been able to take care of my family for many years and expect to be able to do that in the future too.
A list is good to put up when we need to make up our minds on something. If there were a man in my life that I liked, but some of the things in him made me crazy, then I would put up a list to decide whether to continue seeing that man or not. I’m just fishing around now and a list would just make it more difficult for me to examine the catch. I expect men to see me as the unique woman I am and to respect me for that, it’s only fair that I give guys the same chance. Unfortunately it seems they are more into the list thing than I am and some of them have quite long lists too, but that’s another story…
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January 5th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
yay!!! you are awesome! i was doing internet dating. i had, back then, more of a list of what i did NOT want. and, that was anyone who remotely resembled my ex-husband, in any way, shape or form. i ended up remarrying…over 5 years ago. my husband is completely…COMPLETELY, different. and, i couldn’t be happier. but, most importantly, you have to be all that you can be…and, not rely on a man for that. which, just based upon all of your posts…you already know that and, i have a feeling…you are completely true to who you are.
xoxox
January 17th, 2008
I’ve had a list of what I don’t want too, but at the moment I’m done with the lists… It’s so much easier to go with the flow of life and not make any lists
January 6th, 2008 at 2:42 am
Great choice for a repeat, Susie. I think if you decide ahead of time exactly what you’re looking for in another person there’s a good chance you’re going to miss out on a relationship that may be what you’re really looking for. Experience tells me that when “Mr. Right” comes along you’ll know in no uncertain terms.
The neat thing about you, Susie is you seem to be extremely happy with who you are and where you are in your life. But you’re still open to all the possibilities that life, on life’s terms, brings your way.
Lee’s last blog post..Please Have Your Boarding Pass Available
January 17th, 2008
Thanks Lee.
Most of the time I’m happy with who I am and where I am in life, but of course I’ve got those days too when I’m wondering how I ended up where I’m now… time flies so fast and sometimes I wonder if I should have used my life more wisely…
January 6th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
I think we have a tendency to over analyze the whole dating thing to death…Internet dating sites just add to the confusion sometimes…I think the basics work just fine..are you attracted to him yes or no..and let’s go from there…The only part I don’t understand is why women are so..looking for a word here..coy…I couldn’t think of anything else at the moment…If you want to try it..speak up…:)
January 17th, 2008
I guess the problem is that when a woman knows what she wants and goes for it, men usually don’t respect her for it. At least that is my experience.
January 8th, 2008 at 4:11 am
I enjoyed your thoughts about not having a list. I echo what Robert says above, it all starts with the attraction then let it go wherever it may go from there. I like your style lady.
I don’t have too much experience in the dating arena - not something I have ever done too much. I can say I have never dated from the internet or anything else similar. Though I may have gone on a blind date somewhere. Whether it was an official or unofficial blind date, I can’t remember.
A good post.
Hawk’s last blog post..2007 thoughts . . .
January 17th, 2008
Thanks Hawk. I never actually dated from the Internet either. I got bored pretty soon with the sites I used back then.
January 8th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I love the idea of the old post(s). Hey woman, how is the new grandbaby? Happy 2008 my friend!
Dariana’s last blog post..Chantix
January 17th, 2008
The grandbaby is fine! Happy 2008 to you too