When life outside gets gray and stale,
I try to find the brightest spot and paint myself some light…
If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
No matter how far I go, no matter where life takes me, my heart will always be here…
Nourished by the land, refreshed by the sea…
Walking the path others walked before me, trying to leave a footprint hoping someone will follow…
How can you ever understand the things that are greater than you? How can you find words to describe the untouchable peace of a moment in time? When the sun is setting and yet it never becomes really dark…
You hear the voices of people miles away, separated on their own islands, yet you hear every word they say…
That moment you understand the silence in your people…
You understand the wisdom in knowing how to be… to be in the silent moment on an island in the Finnish Gulf a midsummer night…
I thought nothing more could go wrong today, I even said something like that in a comment to the earlier post. I should have stayed at home, but I decided to go to the grocery store to get some items I had forgotten earlier. I didn’t have any money in my wallet, because I had to pay the lady that came and opened my door earlier this day, so I paid with my credit card. I had paid my tickets to Florida with the card earlier this week and I hadn’t used it since. Turned out my card was overcharged and I couldn’t use it for my groceries. I couldn’t believe my ears, because the tickets didn’t cost that much. To get my groceries, I had to walk home again, get some money from my daughter and walk back to the store and pay. I checked my card and the tickets have been charged twice. I have to call the Airline on Monday and get the payments for the tickets sorted out. I think it’s better I get to bed early…
This post is inspired by the contest at Debo Hobo Dot Com where you are supposed to write a letter to your younger self with advice on what you could do better in life. When I entered the contest I started thinking about all the decisions I’ve made through my life and how they have made me who I am today.
I got engaged and ran away from home when I was 17 and have been providing for myself since. At times I’ve even been providing for a man, and I’m still providing for some of my children.
I moved to Sweden when I was 18 and got married the same year too. Our dream was to move to Australia where my uncle lives. Today I’m happy we didn’t move.
I became a mother when I was 20 and was a mother of three at the age of 23.
I moved back to Finland at the age of 23, I guess I already then saw the ending of my marriage approaching, but I decided to work on it some more.
I got a divorce when I was 28 and I still can’t remember exactly what day it was, neither can I remember the exact date I got married. Some things are better to forget.
I met the man I thought was the love of my life a week after my divorce.
I built a house at the age of 30 because I wanted to have something I could call my own home. The love of my life had left me and got a baby with another woman. I said, “If you love something, set it free… If it comes back, it’s yours, if it doesn’t, it never was yours….” The love of my life came back and I thought he was mine.
I got our baby at the age of 32 and the love of my life realized he wasn’t ready to become a father. He’s never seen his daughter even though we live pretty close and I see him almost every day.
I sold my house at the age of 39 because I wanted to change my life.
I met a man and moved in with him. I had known that man since we were teenagers. I didn’t know he had remained the same age all his life, so i moved out pretty quickly.
I wrote a book at the age of 40, a book only for me. When the book was ready and I closed it, I said to myself… this is me, this is my life and this is who I am. I don’t want to give away a single second of that life, because with all my faults and all my imperfections, and even though I guard my heart quite well today, I’m proud of who I am and what I have become…
My father didn’t talk much and he listened even less. You could talk to him for a long while and he was nodding, but at one point you always noticed that he didn’t listen. Usually that made me talk even more… I wanted to force him to listen by washing him with words.
I hate it when people don’t pay attention to what I say; I hate it when I don’t get a response to an email or when a call or text message isn’t returned. That makes me feel like a child again, and it makes me talk too much. I started to think that what I need is friends that talk, friends that share their thoughts and views so that I know what’s going on in their minds. I don’t want to second guess anyone; I want people to tell me what they feel. I always point out that communication is important for us to be able to understand and learn from each other.
Even though I hated it when my father was absent minded I did trust him. When I really needed him he was there and in his silent way he fixed what needed to be fixed. So I tend to trust those who listen more than those who only talk…
This house was built by my grandparent’s to replace the house they had to leave after the war ended. They lived in the house while building a bigger one. Later on one of the rooms became a sauna and the another room became a guest bedroom.
I used to play in this house, and later when I became a teenager, I lived there. No one is living there anymore, but it is still there, on my mother’s back yard, reminding us of those that have brought us to this world.
This is where I come from, this is where I thrive. I love the colors and smell of the warm earth, this is where I find peace and harmony.
I am an earthly woman, with my feet well grounded in the simple life…
